January » Rep. Jason Chaffetz lost a leg-wrestling match to Stephen Colbert, and then — because he had apparently forgotten about the invention of videotape — disputed the results. Many people in Utah celebrated Barack Obama’s inauguration, but most of those were attending the Sundance Film Festival in Park City.
February » State Sen. Chris Buttars got caught on tape saying what he truly believes about homosexuality, prompting his fellow Republicans to act all angry about it. Larry H. Miller, whose sports and movie-theater empire has been responsible for more nights out in Utah than Chuck-A-Rama, died at age 62. Port O’ Call closed its doors.
March » Utah’s Kelsey Lee missed the cut on “Rock of Love Bus,” while Megan Joy caw-cawed her way into our hearts on “American Idol.” Utah legislators agreed to remove the onerous private-club rules to bars, but still managed to add new stupid liquor laws — namely, to require new restaurants to build in separate rooms for alcohol preparation, to hide it from the kiddies.
April » Jason Chaffetz’s war with technology continued when he started a Twitter account but tried to block Democrats from reading it — not realizing how easy it is to go around the blockage. Deseret Book finally noticed that Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight books are about supernatural beings and took the series off store shelves.
May » Actor Will Swenson, once a mainstay of Orem’s Hale Center Theater, scored a Tony nomination for the Broadway revival of “Hair” — a musical not being staged at Hale. Ballet West trims its budget by $1.2 million. Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff accidentally announced his U.S. Senate candidacy on Twitter. Actor Charles Lynn Frosts put a wig on his Sister Dottie S. Dixon KRCL radio character and made the Mormon housewife into a local star.
June » Bookseller Sam Weller died at age 88. Word leaked out of Jeff Archuleta, father of “American Idol” fave David Archuleta, getting busted in a prostitution sting at a Murray massage parlor. Brigham Young University unblocked student access to YouTube. Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker suggested building a new police HQ on Library Square, then beat a hasty retreat after a public outcry.
July » A gay couple’s innocent kiss on the LDS-owned Main Street Plaza drew five burly security guards, followed by further national scrutiny of the LDS Church’s intolerance toward homosexuals. Utah started to say goodbye to the Albertson’s name on supermarkets. Hundreds of would-be dance phenoms spent Pioneer Day in line to audition for Fox’s “So You Think You Can Dance.” Robert Redford married his longtime girlfriend, German artist Sibylle Szaggars.
August » Utah mommy-blogger Heather “Dooce” Armstrong’s complaints about a busted washing machine created an instant Internet firestorm. Melanie Griffith entered rehab at Sundance’s Cirque Lodge. A “flash mob” protesting global climate change tried to disrupt foot traffic at a Twilight Concert. Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman left office to become President Obama’s ambassador to China, leaving the charisma-challenged Lt. Gov. Gary Herbert in charge.
September » Jason Chaffetz expanded his war on technology to include the body scanners at airports and ended up in a “don’t you know who I am?” tussle with a TSA official. Thierry Fischer was named the new music director of the Utah Symphony. BYU barred a rockin’ University of Utah production of Euripides’ play “The Bakkhai,” reportedly on the urging of quarterback Max Hall, who found it classless.
October » David Archuleta released a Christmas album, the same day as Bob Dylan’s (I am not making this up). Charles Lynn Frost’s reprisal of his Sister Dottie role was another hit, until the actor fell ill with H1N1. Painter Doug Snow, best known for his massive abstract murals of southern Utah vistas, died in a car crash at age 82. Utah Symphony musicians gave up part of their pay, but only if the orchestra’s board can raise another $1 million.
November » Real Salt Lake won the MLS Cup, Donny Osmond won “Dancing With the Stars” — and some Utahns couldn’t decide which is more prestigious. The gay couple who got busted on the Main Street Plaza turned up on “The Colbert Report,” with a cameo by Charles Lynn Frost.
December » Sarah Palin drew several hundred frozen fans to a Costco store, but stiffed local Republican leaders seeking a sit-down. Salt Lake City cut a deal to buy the Utah Theatre for an ambitious film center. And Orrin Hatch wrote a Hanukkah song — because there just isn’t enough to keep him occupied as a senator.
Here’s to another year of Utah’s unique version of pop culture.
Sean P. Means writes the Culture Vulture in daily blog form, at blogs.sltrib.com/vulture
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