Sister Dottie S. Dixon

January » Rep. Jason Chaffetz lost a leg-wrestling match to Stephen Colbert, and then — because he had apparently forgotten about the invention of videotape — disputed the results. Many people in Utah celebrated Barack Obama’s inauguration, but most of those were attending the Sundance Film Festival in Park City.

February » State Sen. Chris Buttars got caught on tape saying what he truly believes about homosexuality, prompting his fellow Republicans to act all angry about it. Larry H. Miller, whose sports and movie-theater empire has been responsible for more nights out in Utah than Chuck-A-Rama, died at age 62. Port O’ Call closed its doors.

March » Utah’s Kelsey Lee missed the cut on “Rock of Love Bus,” while Megan Joy caw-cawed her way into our hearts on “American Idol.” Utah legislators agreed to remove the onerous private-club rules to bars, but still managed to add new stupid liquor laws — namely, to require new restaurants to build in separate rooms for alcohol preparation, to hide it from the kiddies.

April » Jason Chaffetz’s war with technology continued when he started a Twitter account but tried to block Democrats from reading it — not realizing how easy it is to go around the blockage. Deseret Book finally noticed that Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight books are about supernatural beings and took the series off store shelves.

May » Actor Will Swenson, once a mainstay of Orem’s Hale Center Theater, scored a Tony nomination for the Broadway revival of “Hair” — a musical not being staged at Hale. Ballet West trims its budget by $1.2 million. Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff accidentally announced his U.S. Senate candidacy on Twitter. Actor Charles Lynn Frosts put a wig on his Sister Dottie S. Dixon KRCL radio character and made the Mormon housewife into a local star.

June » Bookseller Sam Weller died at age 88. Word leaked out of Jeff Archuleta, father of “American Idol” fave David Archuleta, getting busted in a prostitution sting at a Murray massage parlor. Brigham Young University unblocked student access to YouTube. Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker suggested building a new police HQ on Library Square, then beat a hasty retreat after a public outcry.

July » A gay couple’s innocent kiss on the LDS-owned Main Street Plaza drew five burly security guards, followed by further national scrutiny of the LDS Church’s intolerance toward homosexuals. Utah started to say goodbye to the Albertson’s name on supermarkets. Hundreds of would-be dance phenoms spent Pioneer Day in line to audition for Fox’s “So You Think You Can Dance.” Robert Redford married his longtime girlfriend, German artist Sibylle Szaggars.

August » Utah mommy-blogger Heather “Dooce” Armstrong’s complaints about a busted washing machine created an instant Internet firestorm. Melanie Griffith entered rehab at Sundance’s Cirque Lodge. A “flash mob” protesting global climate change tried to disrupt foot traffic at a Twilight Concert. Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman left office to become President Obama’s ambassador to China, leaving the charisma-challenged Lt. Gov. Gary Herbert in charge.

September » Jason Chaffetz expanded his war on technology to include the body scanners at airports and ended up in a “don’t you know who I am?” tussle with a TSA official. Thierry Fischer was named the new music director of the Utah Symphony. BYU barred a rockin’ University of Utah production of Euripides’ play “The Bakkhai,” reportedly on the urging of quarterback Max Hall, who found it classless.

October » David Archuleta released a Christmas album, the same day as Bob Dylan’s (I am not making this up). Charles Lynn Frost’s reprisal of his Sister Dottie role was another hit, until the actor fell ill with H1N1. Painter Doug Snow, best known for his massive abstract murals of southern Utah vistas, died in a car crash at age 82. Utah Symphony musicians gave up part of their pay, but only if the orchestra’s board can raise another $1 million.

November » Real Salt Lake won the MLS Cup, Donny Osmond won “Dancing With the Stars” — and some Utahns couldn’t decide which is more prestigious. The gay couple who got busted on the Main Street Plaza turned up on “The Colbert Report,” with a cameo by Charles Lynn Frost.

December » Sarah Palin drew several hundred frozen fans to a Costco store, but stiffed local Republican leaders seeking a sit-down. Salt Lake City cut a deal to buy the Utah Theatre for an ambitious film center. And Orrin Hatch wrote a Hanukkah song — because there just isn’t enough to keep him occupied as a senator.

Here’s to another year of Utah’s unique version of pop culture.

Sean P. Means writes the Culture Vulture in daily blog form, at blogs.sltrib.com/vulture



Lawsie kid, the holidays have just got me spent.   Jist last Sundee, I was asked to give a lesson in Release Society about the dangers of materialism during the Holidays. So many of our members are seduced by the things of this world.  And it was so well-received that I thought I should also share with all my fans!

Firstly, I am so grateful fer the entravenarial spirit of sa many Marmons.  Free-Market Capitalism has made it ever sa much easier to spread the Gospel.  And with sa many Marmon themed products on the market, we can now more easily live IN the world and not be OF the world.  Here are the products that I’m excited about this year (with special thanks to little Danny Thomas fer his inspired recommendations!)

Firstly, (and not ta be self-promotin’ er nothing), but if you are still struggling with the perfect upliftin’ and spiritchual gift ta give a loved one, might I suggest a pair of TICKETS to THE PASSION this January?

If you’ve already gotcher tickets, then might I suggest the 20^th Anniversary Buttercream Gang DVD on Blue Ray? That’s right.  Remember years ago when the Feature Films fer Family had all them tele-marketers outa Provo callin’ ya to buy wholesome G rated films that Hollywood refused ta make?  Well, hell, I was a sucker fer the whole lot!  And now with this special DVD in High Def, you can relive the adventures of them adorable Buttercreamers!  It’s certainly held up over the years.

Now the new technology that parents are excited about is the Mormon Smart Phone.  This will prevent yer teenage kids from “sexting” each other while at Church!  Lawsie, what kids get up to!  It also has a special app called “Modar” which will locate the nearest wardhouse or Chuck-A-Rama.  And when you have ta travel OUT of Utah County inta THE WORLD, fear not, it will also alert you to any fellow Marmons who might also be shopping near you in the state liquor store! Oh! Oh! I’m also excited about the new Klean Kindle. This is a handheld computer that let’s you can read G rated versions of any book ya want from Twilight ta Lady Chatterly’s Lover!  Love it!

There are several new video games fer the Mormon gamer community.  Mo Tab Rock Band has bin flying off the shelves at the Springville Wal-Mart.  It comes complete with organ keys that you have ta follow along on yer TV.  I tried ta Rock Out to “How Great Thou Art” but couldn’t get past the first level.  Also popular this season is Grand Theft Mormo – where a smarmy ward-member invests yer money in a pyramid scheme and takes off with all yer savings!  You then chase him all over St. George and Zions.  Warning: This can get violent – the graphics are VERY realistic!

And how I love the many clean and wholesome LDS themed films that are everywhere now! The favorites I’ve seen recently are Last Tango in Nauvoo – which despite it’s G rating was STILL very provocative.  I also liked Fear and Loathing in Manti. It made me think.  And of course all the kids LOVE the LDS animated fantasy adventure, The Clone Wards!

It’s jist sa wonderful to have sa many products that remind us all of the spirichtual nature of our faith.  That’s what Christmas is all about kid!  I hope yer holidays are full of love, happiness and a stocking full of Spirichual Gifts and Accessories!  Bye fer now!

Landsamercy! The places I’ve been and the people I’ve met. I feel sa fartunate ta have met sa many, many wonderful and grand folks. This is a picture of me and that DOOCE lady, Heather Armstrong. She is sa famous and an inspiration to all we women! She, just like Sister D. wants ta be a difference-maker, and frum everything I can tell–she’s succeedin’! We was at the same book signin’ and I have ta admit I was sa excited ta meet her that I peed ma pants just a little. SHE is lovely, simply lovely, not ta mention smart!