Sister Dottie S. Dixon

(The Salad, not the movie)

by Sister D.

A Dixon Family Traditional
Springtime Recipe

Before we get started I want to acknowledge my producer Troy for trouble he stirred up in the Tribune.  You can read all about it over on his blog.  Keep givin’ ‘em hell kid!

Now this recipe is perfect for Decoration Day,
Spring  Club, or a Fancy Sunday Dinner!! All I can say, is spruce
up your spring with this, it’s a Dixon Family Favorite, which I am
sure you’ll enjoy! It’s a damned good thing it can double out as
a salad or dessert, twice the impact for half the trouble.

I don’t know if all of you my
listeners have been watchin’ this freaky Utah springtime
weather, but just
the other day—I was walking on my treadmill when come along a storm so fierce I thought it was the Second Coming itself! I called up my neighbor Darts and she put me at ease when she saw a rainbow shining over all a Spanish.  We Mormons know that whenever we see a rainbow, we have at least a year till the real Second Coming.  And that’s a doctrine you can count on!  So hoist those flags high kid!

Here’s the
Garden of Eden Surprise Salad!

Begin with a large, rather deep
cake pan. Now the deepness is important, because what you are creating
here are multiple layers of the earth during springtime. You’ve got
to get all your telestial firmaments stacked a top one another.

1. Spray your entire deep
   dish cake pan with PAM.
2. Next, layer the bottom
   of the pan with a combination of Cherry, Lime, and Celery flavored Jello.
   Mix up all three packages, and then just throw them all together and
   prepare as per directions on the side of the box. Pour the Jello concoction
   into the pan, and then allow to harden by putting it in your freezer
   for about 2 hours. This Jello represents the soft core center of your
   garden, way down deep, and it always is a pleasant surprise when your
   guests get to the bottom.
3. While the bottom Jello
   layer has been hardening up in the freezer, I whip up a batch of Jello
   instant dark chocolate pudding, so that once I take the Jello out of
   the freezer, I can spread the pudding all over the mixture with my spatula,
   not missing even the corners! Now this is important folks. Getting each
   layer to be approximately even, and to fully represent this grand earth
   that the Good Lord has provided us to live on.
4. This next layer of the salad represents that rotting mulch
   that I turn way under with a shovel or a pitchfork. Get yourself 4 packages
   of frozen spinach, it doesn’t matter the brand here. Unthaw them,
   wring out the extra water and layer it all over your salad concoction.
5. Now if you like to
   mix it up a bit. Here’s where I add two full cans of drained mandarin
   oranges. Donnie always asks what part of the earth are these damned
   oranges supposed to represent, and I just say hush your mouth Donnie.
6. Now every recipe needs
   some soggy-crunchy, next take an entire box of Cocoa Puffs and blend
   it together with 2 cans of Dr. Pepper. Let the Puffs absorb the DP,
   and then spread that over the entire concoction.
7. Now if you are like
   me, no Garden of Eden Surprise Salad is right without some earthworms
   a wigglin’ around atop the dirt. I always get a whole package of gummy
   worms and soak them overnight in Yoshida’s sauce.
8. Next take 1 small carton
   of small curd an 1 small carton of large curd cottage cheese, and mix
   em’ up together. This of course—assimulates the snows that often
   fall with a fervor in the springtime here in Utah.
9. At this point of the
   recipe the cook has some decisions to make. I want to give you all the
   options. You can decorate the top with coconut colored with green food
   color, or you can decorate the top by allowing asparagus tips to be
   a poppin’ through.
10. Get yourself some store bought bread dough and roll it into the
    shape of a snake, two raisins for the eyes and place the snake across
    the pan, to finish the festivity! At this point your eyes’ll pop out
    of your head. Pride to the max!!  A HUGE surprise
    at every layer.

Let is set up in the refrigerator
overnight, covered lightly with aluminum foil, just so all the layers
of the garden set and firmly settle. I always serve hefty portions on
my springtime china. This one’s
a pleaser—so just be ready to make it all over again really soon,
you’ll certainly be havin’ the requests.

Love ya kid!

Sister D.